THE ATTRACTIVENESS OF A LEADER’S BEHAVIOUR!
By Tengku Indra
Shahzalli Ahmad (commonly addressed as ‘Shah’ by work colleagues) is the CEO of a European Retail Goods Conglomerate with wide presence in Malaysia. One morning Shah arrived early at a luxury hotel in Kuala Lumpur where he was hosting a-day conference for the company’s top 100 performers. In fact he was the earliest to have arrived at the conference hall.
Positioning himself at the main entrance of the conference hall, he humbly welcomed delegates to the conference thanking them for their presence and wishing them a delightful experience for the event. In his usual warm and very friendly disposition, Shah set the tone for a highly successful event especially when he gave his opening speech in which he envisioned the company’s future outlining its challenges by constantly referring to his favourite book, Our Iceberg is Melting, by John Kotter.
Occasionally during his address to the 100 top performers, he would be telling some inspiring stories to attract the audience's attention. At one point he said something so simple, yet compelling, that it even attracted me as I was present during the conference. “It is never enough to say ‘Thank you’ to whoever you are interacting with anytime, anywhere!” said Shah.
THE HABIT OF ATTRACTIVE BEHAVIORS
Shah’s behaviour is typical of many great corporate leaders who display the kind of attraction that enhances their charisma and personality. They simply touch the hearts of people by the way in which they spontaneously greet them in a sincere and caring manner.
They show the ability to speak in a simple yet persuasive way with different types of people. Above all they are great listeners and put in a lot of effort to find common things with others rather than focusing on differences.
When they need to, influential leaders are not only assertive (as I wrote last month), but on balance are able to demonstrate attractive behaviours that can win the hearts of the people they work with.
At the closing speech of the conference, Shah disclosed a very heart-breaking news which he had shared with me first. He was very careful in articulating his choice of words making his audience receptive on what he had to inform them.
He said, “You have been my great partner in the last five years. A new opportunity lies ahead of us! Our Head Office is creating a privilege for me to take up a new position in two months’ time in the World Headquarters in Europe as the Chief Change Officer. This is a result of our collective achievements and another step forward for our Malaysian business. It is the first time for a non-European to be offered such an opportunity like this.”
There was a ten-second silence after which the audience broke into a huge standing ovation. I could see the joy and happiness of the 100 top leaders giving the tribute to their CEO through their applause. In fact I noticed, some of Shah’s immediate managers and directors including some Europeans broke into tears of happiness!
ATTRACTIVENESS IS ABOUT MINDFULNESS
When leaders behave attractively, they are actually being mindful on how their words and actions will impact on others in a positive way.
When meeting and greeting others, they are mindful that others will feel welcome and respected. In speaking and explaining matters, they are mindful on how complete and precise the information they are transmitting. In complex situation, they will simplify the issues perhaps by using analogies or even telling a story.
Very often when I relate these points to my clients, I am often asked the question if these skills are natural-born for such leaders like Shah.
My response would always be, just like assertive skills can be learnt and mastered, so do attractive skills.
SKILL-SETS OF ASSERTIVENESS
In our practice mentoring and coaching leaders on being attractive, we find that there are four key traits leaders need to display:
1. CONNECTING: They show spontaneous rapport when connecting with people using positive words that focus on similarities. They would avoid comments that can create a gap in the communication process and stir up unnecessary conflicts.
2. ENVISONING: They are skilful at forging a common vision in a simple and concise way that people can be inspired and give their whole-hearted support.
3. LISTENING: They listen very actively and maintain a very good eye contact with positive gestures and body language.
4. LEVELLING: They know how to level up with different people they work with by finding common grounds and similarities.
5. STORY TELLING: They are excellent story tellers.
In short we coined these behavioural skills set calling it CELLS!
Leaders can learn and master these skills set and hence enhance their ability to persuade and influence others. Leadership is a learnable skill! Shah once shared with me his favourite quote which I believe he walks the talk:
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”