MINDFULNESS: A LEADER’S HALLMARK OF RESPECT FOR OTHERS!

 By Tengku Indra

Once upon a time, my family and I were waiting to board a flight for home at Dubai International Airport. Seated next to us, at the holding area, was an elderly couple who were very friendly and gracious. They struck a conversation with us immediately after we were seated. They shared with us their two weeks’ tour of Europe; we reciprocated with exciting stories of our visit to the UK witnessing our children’s convocations at their respective universities.

They even introduced us their daughter who was sitting across us. Unfortunately the young lady did not even look up and acknowledge us when introduced but instead was obsessed in manning her smart phone. She seemed to be oblivious of our presence. To me it was a sign of being disrespectful to others. It had nothing to do with being a “Gen X or Y!”

HABIT OF MINDLESSNESS

Feeling uncomfortable and perhaps embarrassed by their daughter’s behaviour (maybe “misbehaviour”), the father explained to us that she was a very busy person working in a law firm back home. This was a sad thing I thought! She was a qualified person but not really educated!

I wondered how she would be communicating with her clients when she showed such a lack of attentiveness to the people around her. I remember reading a quotation once which says “anything you do is everything you do.”

This is certainly not a quality any professional or leader should display at work and in personal life.

LESSONS LEARNT

There are many lessons we can learn from this experience. Mindlessness destroys human interaction and undermines business dealings. How often do we notice, people sitting in at meetings but seem to be completely drowned in the world of their own  scanning and reading their smart phones without giving due attention (alas respect) to the discussion that is going on.

Just imagine how mindless people are when they become angry during a negotiation process and hurl the other party with abusive words and negative emotions oblivious of how the other party feels.

THE MIND WANDERS ALMOST 50 % OF OUR TIME

We live in the age of distraction when people succumb easily to their cell phones and pay little attention in listening to others. The old adage of people manning their smart phones or I-pad and saying “Go on, keep talking, I am listening to you!” is completely out of place in showing respect to others.

A recent research by two Harvard University Professors, confirms that people spend half of their waking hours thinking about things other than what they are actually doing. Their minds wander almost 50 % of the time. A recent personal experience supports this point.

I was driving a friend to his hotel and we were busy reminiscing our good old days in the University not realizing that we have missed three exits. I had to make a U-turn to get back to the right exit leading to the hotel. My mind wandered on the good old days. So did my friend. I was not mindful at all of the direction I was driving. My subconscious mind took control of the wheel!

We wasted fifteen minutes and my friend was almost late for his next appointment. We need to be mindful to remain effective in business and personal life.

BENEFITS OF MINDFULNESS

Mindfulness makes us focused on what we are currently doing. It enables us to make clear decisions much easily and choose between one alternative versus another. We become more aware of how our behaviours will impact on others. Are we defensive or offensive? Are we constructive or destructive? Are we evasive or persuasive? Mindfulness helps us to choose the appropriate positive and constructive behaviour.

In his book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle reminds us that our mind is a brilliant organ if used appropriately. As leaders in business, we are often engaged in negotiations and managing conflicts with the other party. These business engagements dictate a strong need for us to remain mindful in their processes. Being mindful would prevent us from getting angry easily at the gestures or words that the other party uses in the negotiating process. We can afford to remain calm and composed if we are being mindful of others.

It makes us to be clear on what we want in the negotiating process and guide us along the right direction as we communicate with the other party. It ensures we remain in control of our senses. We will not stray away! We will not be acting by default, so to speak.

In short, mindfulness means we are “here and now” and not letting our habits to win!

It is a simple recipe of our gratitude in life!